We have been taking things slow - which is something I’ve never been good at. But with Her its like taking the first sips of a truly fine tea. It’s like breathing in the sweet aroma while gently cradling your hands around it’s warmth. I think given enough time I could wax poetic about Her all day.
I have had the worst year of my life, but she’s brought something truly amazing during these last few months - a love that I would never have imagined. There is so much promise in her kiss, laughter in her eyes, and warmth in her touch. She is genuinely the calmest person I know. So much so that just looking at her, sitting in her presence even, brings my heart rate down. But then she looks up at me from across the room, winks, and my heartbeat kicks up again. I joke with her that she makes my meds work overtime.
I thought my world began and ended with ExHusband. I was mistaken. My world begins and ends with the family I created. He was just a part of it. I even had a break from Fiance - he moved out for a few weeks - but we realized that what we have is so incredibly special that he couldn’t stand being away any longer. He came home and we had some really good discussions. And Her? She was supportive every step of the way.
How does she do it? How does she look at a little broken family like mine and think, “Yep, those are the ones. Those are MINE.” The kids haven’t met her yet and they won’t until a while later. We are taking this slow not for us but for them. If I had my way I’d have moved her in by now and let her take over. But I have to be sure. I can’t have anyone come around my kids that won’t be there on a more serious level. She not only understands, but agrees. But that doesn’t stop her from sending little cakes and gifts their way. She’s talked to Her on the phone a few times, but nothing more than that. It gets me a little nervous. My kids have had so much change this year that we don’t want to hurt them giving them too much right now. When I told the kids the plan they heartily agreed. They want to meet her, but only if she is sure about being in a family like ours. The kids kept telling her they missed having three parents so they hope she likes us lol.
She laughed and then immediately ordered them some food and had it delivered to the house for them. She also keeps a running list on her phone of what they like and don’t like. We have found this year that Daughter has a whole lot of food allergies so She started a list and has kept it updated. It’s the sweetest thing she could’ve done.
My life has had so many downs this year it was hard for me to get into the festive spirit, but she just ran her fingers softly through my newly cut hair and whispered nasty things in my ear until I was blushing and giggling like a little girl. She brings that out in me - all the soft parts that just want to be babied a little. I can be small around her and she’s right there with me.
I think what I like about her the most is her friendship. We’ve been building it piece by piece. Taking our time, peeling back the layers and walking through our memories. We want to build something that lasts. Something so precious that we never have to think of the words ‘divorce’ or ‘cheating’. She was cheated on too….and it broke her as well. I just kept forgiving it because I believed in the man himself. Big mistake, and she made one like it too with her ex.
I honestly thought I was never going to get over the disrespect but here I am, 10 months out from when my ExHusband left, and I feel more whole and complete and loved than I ever have. It’s calming. She’s calming. And when I feel wild and silly and just want to make good memories to hold me through the hard times, she links arms with me and off we go on another adventure.
They way Fiance and Her get along….well that’s another thing that makes me happy. She sees him too. For who he is, faults and all, you’d think she’d run screaming from our family situation but she doesn’t. She just has this twinkle in her almond eyes and a gentle curve to her lips that makes me think she’s planning something. Fiance is of course smitten with her…I mean who wouldn’t be?
The kids are going to my parents for Christmas this year while Fiance and I stay home. They’ll be gone for a couple weeks and then when they get home we are going to have Christmas here. She will be coming over while the kids are gone and we are going to test run a few….situations lol. Although I am going to miss my kids dearly, I am looking forward to exploring another side of me and FIance.
She makes him calm too. He acts like an adoring puppy around her and it makes me so happy. We are all taking our time, and letting everything build. Hopefully, on the other side of this journey, we will step back and look at the incredible home we built for us and our children - all on a solid and unbreakable foundation.
Because that is what I dream of the most - an incredible love and family built on the foundation I myself poured with help from two of the most beautiful souls in the world.
So, what am I thankful for? Her, Fiance, Daughter, Son, family, pets, and my own still beating heart. Without this loving heart, I wouldn’t have any of this.
Happy Thanksgiving ya’ll!